Funny | I'm Watching...

28Nov/090

What is Twilight? Here is the best explanation:

Wondering wtf twilight is or the contents of the book?
Here's a little taste from a kid w/ an accent.

"Ch. 2 starts out with this sentence. 'The next day was better, and worse.'"

Tagged as: british kid reading twlight No Comments

18Mar/090

Best of Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm

Leon from Curb. Watch Vid Go.

Infos

Leon's real stage name is JB Smoove. His real name may in fact be Leon. Dat would be da shizz if so.

I have typed out Leon's quotes for you. Please keep in mind these quotes on paper lack the style of the Southern, rural vernacular of Leon's character. Caveat emptor, minigars.

0:01 "Peanut! Peanut Boy"

Ejacalit

Leon: "Ejac a lit?"

Lare: "Not ejac a lit, ejaculate!"

Five-Second Rule

"You got a five second rule?" "1-2-3-4-5 and it come out?"

Joe Pepitone Jersey

Thats some bullshit right thur. Im gonna handle this shit. Joe Pepitone in this motherfucker!

Susie

Leon: I like a woman with a smart-ass mouth like that.

Susie: Yea, well fuck you!

Leon: Mmmm!

"Yea...Topsy-turvey that mother-fucker..."

Toast/Machine

"If that toast goes back in to the machine, it will lose its essence"

President

Guy From SNL: I thought you called to apologize to my wife?
Leon: I hit that ass and i moved on dog, shit is over
L: Black man doing his thing… Barack Obama, motherfucker!
L: I'm the President of hitting that ass!
L: You can have your wife back man, i don't want the bitch anymore.
L: Like I just said, I hit it and I quit it.

Long Balls

You got long balls, Larry... You got long ass balls, Larry... Long-Ball Larry... "Long Balls, Change the Drawers!"

I Fuck Larry Up

Leon: OK, so I grab the purse, Larry tackles me, I fuck larry up and I keep on rollin."

Larry- What?

Leon (incredulous): Someone needs to get fucked up here, Larry.

Oh yea and of course:
You Gotta Get in that Ass, Larry

"Next time a man call you a fuckin faggot, you get in that ass, Larry."

"You get in that ass, you open that asshole up and you pull that asshole open, step inside, and spray paint 'Larry Was Here.'
Fuck his whole asshole up, eat snicker bars, throw trash on the ground and then you step out his ass--
And you leave that asshole wide open so that motherfucker knows you been there"

The ad-lib stuff Larry and JB Smoove come up with is the best part of Season 6. Leon really makes me like Curb again. It was petering out for a while.

Want to play catch up before you watch Season 7 (Just finished a couple weeks ago)? Buy the DVDs of Ssn 1-6 now like me.

I just bought the Season 1-6 box set because it's on clearance on Amazon. $80 shipped no tax. $13/season. Can't beat that. Last time I bought a television box set it was 90 bucks just for one season. Ridiculous.

Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Complete Seasons 1-6

[Nov 20th: Ssn 7 Leon quotes coming soon]

Tagged as: curb your enthusiasm, jb smoove, leon, leon quotes No Comments

17Mar/090

Silent Stand Up Comedy

This is part of College Humor's Prank Wars video series. Some kid sets up his friend who is about to do an open mic night by getting the audience to agree not to laugh at anything he says. This is what awkward looks like.

Prank War Continued: Streeter Bombs from Amir on Vimeo.

Tagged as: bombs, improv everywhere, no laugh, prank, stand up comedian, stand up comedy prank No Comments

31Jan/090

Little Pimpin (Eating Grill Cheeze) Lyrics

Little Pimpin' is a 7-year-old female pimp from the Miami area.

Tagged as: Lil Pimping, Little Pimpin Continue reading

28Jan/090

Da Ali G Show - Before there Was Borat

Before there was Borat, there was Ali G..
I knew about him through bootleg Region 2 DVDs that I had to play through a region-free karaoke DVD player that I got in Chinatown in San Francisco.
I knew about him before everybody else.

This is a great clip from his 10 o'clock show in England that he had before he was famous in America.